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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28400274">The Passion of the Christ (and his angelic ex-boyfriend)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bzzee/pseuds/Bzzee'>Bzzee</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Can I call it that?, Heresy, I think the show would have been better if jesus was cas's canon ex, Jealousy, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Religious Content</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:06:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,972</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28400274</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bzzee/pseuds/Bzzee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas are happy in heaven until Cas's ex-boyfriend saunters in. Dean discovers you can be jealous in heaven and that, apparently, Jesus fucks.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel (Supernatural)/Jesus Christ, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jesus Christ/Judas Iscariot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>344</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Passion of the Christ (and his angelic ex-boyfriend)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by <a href="https://gaysie.tumblr.com/post/638412593950785536/the-opening-scene-to-the-spn-movieminiseries-will">this post</a>.</p><p>Was supposed to be shorter and funnier, but when I started trying to figure out what Cas saw in Jesus, my religious upbringing and the 2 solid months of consuming Supernatural meta kinda went off. I'm still laughing though.</p><p>Jensen, if you need this script for the movie hmu.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dean brings the two bottles of beer down on the table, cracking their lids open in a satisfying <em>snap</em>. They open a little easier here, ‘cause everything moves a little easier here. He hands a bottle to Cas and sits down next to him. He feels his chest swell just looking at him, and while he knows the peace that dwells inside him is probably mostly from the heavenly mojo flowing through him, it feels like it all comes from being with Cas, really being with Cas, finally.</p><p>They’re alone at Harvelle’s. There’s a kind of magnetism to the place, like some kind of heavenly hub for Jo and Ellen and Bobby and Ash and Sam and everyone else who found some rest from the monsters in this place back on Earth. They all flow in and out of here, never hiding from danger, just returning from adventures, actual fun adventures like trips to sights and memories, their favorite places and places that never quite existed. Dean doesn’t mind it being just him and Cas here at the moment, resting, their thighs touching under the table, an arm around Cas, beers in hand. But when the door opens, Dean naturally perks up, since there isn’t anyone that could walk through that he wouldn’t be happy to see.</p><p>Or so he thought.</p><p>He doesn’t recognize the man that walks in. He has dark skin and black hair down to his shoulders, with just a hint of curl in it. His face is well, pretty, with nice cheek bones and bold eyelashes. The man walks with a distinctive swagger, almost like James Dean, he thinks absently. He feels Cas stiffen under him, and then shrug off his arm to stand up. The man pays no notice to Dean, strides confidently to Cas, their eyes locking. For a second Dean is almost expecting a fight, wondering if this is some kind of bitter angel out for revenge. He knows he can summon anything at will, but it’s been so long since he’s held a genuine weapon in his hand, he’s not sure what to reach for. He looks back at Cas again and surprisingly he <em>isn’t</em> bristling like an angry cat. Instead, his eyes are shining in something like reverence.</p><p>The man stops close to Cas, too close for Dean’s liking, and gently reaching his hand to Cas’s face. Cas breaks out into a smile as he makes contact with his cheek. “Jesus,” he whispers. They keep staring at each other.</p><p>“Uh, so who’s this,” Dean says, shifting in his chair.</p><p>Cas shakes his head like he’s woken from a trance and the man moves his hand down to Cas’s arm. “Sorry, um, this is Dean,” he says, gesturing to him. Dean rises from his chair, feeling suddenly territorial. Cas’s eyes flash between him and the man, but then his eyes rest back on the man. “Please, uh, have a seat.”</p><p>The man grabs a chair opposite from them and sits with one foot resting on the chair next to him, his knee raised. Cas gives Dean a smile, gestures back to their seats, and Dean grunts as he sits down. Cas is going back to looking at the man, a stupid grin creeping onto his face.</p><p>“Jesus, wow, how have you been?” Cas says. “You, uh, you look well.” Dean sees his face blush, and while this goddamn heavenly body works different, he can feel his own heartbeat start to go fast and angry.</p><p>That man grins. “Oh, you know,” the man says, his voice smooth and easy. “Just getting used to the new hierarchy around here. It seems you did as you always do, Castiel. Fucked things up.” For a second he breaks that unbearable eye contact with Cas and flashes a glance at Dean. “Fucked around.”</p><p>“Are you gonna tell me who the hell this is Cas,” Dean says, trying yet mostly failing to keep his voice even.</p><p>“Oh sorry,” Cas said. “I thought that I said. Dean, this is Jesus.”</p><p>“Jesus,” Dean repeats. “Like Jesus-Take-the-Wheel Jesus?”</p><p>“The very same,” the man, Jesus <em>fucking</em> Christ apparently, says. “And you’re Dean Winchesters. I’ve heard stories.</p><p>“I didn’t spend much time in Sunday School, but I guess I can say the same,” Dean spits.</p><p>“So, Cas, sounds like you didn’t tell him about us.” That casual <em>us</em> rings in Dean’s ears.</p><p>Cas is finally not looking at Jesus, thank God, but rather staring intently at his beer gripped in both hands, squirming a little. “Well, it just never came up.” He coughs a little. “But really, how have you been? I’m assuming Jack didn’t give you any trouble.”</p><p>“Nah, that’s a good boy you got there,” he said, giving Cas a more tender smile this time, and Dean wishes he would go back to that obnoxious smirk. He drops the tenderness quickly, leans to tip his chair back a bit and let’s out a long sigh. “I got a demotion, but that’s for the best, it got old being God’s little show dog all the time.”</p><p>“Really.” Cas sounds incredulous. “You. <em>You</em> got tired of being in God’s presence, of doing his bidding, of being his favorite.”</p><p>“Well you’re one to talk,” Jesus shoots back.</p><p>“I just—” Cas hesitates. “You never came back for me. I assumed it was because you valued your position.”</p><p>Dean has been watching, his jaw clenched, his heart racing. But now Cas isn’t just flustered, he sounds <em>hurt</em>. And Dean really doesn’t know what to do with that. He thinks of reaching to Cas, which should be natural, they share touches with the frequency and ease with which they used to breath on Earth, but he hesitates because he’s not sure if he’s touching in comfort or in possession. He thought jealousy was impossible in the promised land of joy and abundance, but something in him burns.</p><p>“Oh yeah, is that what you wanted?” Jesus’s voice isn’t angry, just pointed. “You wanted me to give up everything I had and interrupt you on one of your holy crusades while your mind was still empty from your monthly angel lobotomies, or did you want me to wait ‘til you were off your rocker slaughtering everyone in heaven?”</p><p>Cas lets out something like a chuckle. “I guess the timing was never right.”</p><p>Jesus stands up from his chair, and places his hand on the table, inches from Cas’s. “But hey, we’re both here now.”</p><p>Dean doesn’t even fully form a thought, but he has a loaded gun in his hand, something that feels like the Colt. He’s about to raise it from under the table, maybe to shoot, maybe just to pistol-whip that bitch across the face, when Jesus turns around to leave.</p><p>At the last moment, he stops, his hand on the door. “Castiel, I just came by to tell you that I’m around. Judas and I have a place nearby.”</p><p>“Judas? I assumed he was in the lowest place in Hell.”</p><p>Jesus grins, serene. “Your boy let me call in a favor. Maybe we can have you over for dinner sometime.”</p><p>Cas nods. “I’d appreciate that.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Dean grabs at Cas’s hand, too hard, but still with some restraint, and plasters a wide empty smile. “<em>We</em> would love to.”</p>
<hr/><p>Dean waits, downing two more beers (not that they have much of a tangible affect here) before he finally breaks Cas’s stiff silence. “What the hell was that,” he says, more of a statement than a question.</p><p>Cas jumps a little, like he had forgotten Dean was there. “I mean, that was Jesus Christ.”</p><p>“Yeah, I got that Cas, but do you wanna tell me what the hell happened between you two?”</p><p>He watches as the pieces in Cas’s head seem to fall into place, as if he hadn’t spared a thought of how Dean was processing the whole interaction. He rises to his feet and walks over to Dean standing at the bar. He places his hands firmly on his hips, tilting his eyes up to him.</p><p>“Dean, I told you that when I was on Earth, you were the one who taught me humanity,” he lays a kiss on his cheek. “And when I was in the Empty, in a sea of nothingness, it was the very thought of your smile that kept me grounded,” he plants a kiss on the other cheek. “And that here, in heaven, knowing you were happy could have been enough, but that knowing you wanted to be with me filled me with such joy I almost couldn’t stand it, almost burst out of this body,” he leans in now and kisses him firmly on the lips. Dean can’t help but lean into the kiss, let his hands brush at Cas’s sides. Cas pulls away, just an inch. “And now that we’re here together, Heaven will always be perfect.”</p><p>“Cas,” Dean starts, but Cas pulls him into another kiss. When Cas starts with his tongue, Dean pushes him back a little. “Cas. You’re avoiding the question.”</p><p>Cas scowls. “Fine.” He gestures toward the table. “Let’s sit.” Cas summons two more beers, tops already off, and hands one to Dean as they sit across from each other. Cas sips at his beer, then opens his mouth to speak, and then sips at his beer again.</p><p>Dean nearly breaks the bottle between his hands. “Goddamnit Cas, we don’t have all day,” Dean says finally.</p><p>“You weren’t the only one who I gripped tight and raised from perdition,” Cas says solemnly. He pauses  a moment, then continues, “You taught me how to love humanity—”</p><p>“Cas!” Dean starts.</p><p>“—but Jesus taught me how to love God.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make sense, I thought that was hardwired into you.”</p><p>“Obedience was. Worship was. A certain type of faith was natural, inevitable.” Cas clenches his jaw tight. “For millions of years, I was loyal. But Jesus taught me an active, living love.”</p><p>He explains it. How Jesus was born a human, but more than a human in many ways. How he was chosen, special by God, destined and gifted. Destined to die, gifted to heal, but yet he did so much more. The angels were supposed to watch over him until his chosen time. Cas wasn’t always watching him, but when he did he saw a man who was gentle and wise and resilient and full of righteous anger.</p><p>There was some jealousy from the angels of course, because for whatever reason this<em> human</em> was allowed to talk with God. He had a direct line, and God listened, and God <em>spoke back</em>. It was during these times, watching from a respectable distance as Jesus prayed, close enough to protect him but not close enough to hear him, that he found his mind beginning to question who God <em>was</em>. Before, God was nothing concrete, just the concept of good, of just, of almighty, of holy, of worthy of praise. But as Jesus gathered crowds of attentive listeners and spoke of loving thy neighbor and the Kingdom to come, and suddenly God seemed <em>tangible</em>. God seemed full of love. When Cas prayed, he couldn’t help but see Jesus’s face.</p><p>But of course, they knew, they all always knew, that Jesus was destined to die. It was Cas who watched over him as he prayed that night in Gethsemane, begged God to take the cup from him, yet resolving to do his will anyway. Castiel did then what he had wanted to do all those years, and he spoke to Jesus, gave what encouragement he could for the long day ahead. <em>And there appeared an angel unto him from Heaven, strengthening him.</em></p><p>And when they came for Jesus, Castiel had to standby, because for the first time, his job was not to protect, but to watch as they took him. <em>Yet not my will, but Yours</em>, Jesus had prayed that night, and now Cas found himself repeating it over and over as he watched Jesus beaten and bloody and broken. <em>Yet not my will but Yours yet not my will but Yours yet not my will but Yours</em> pounding through his head as he heard him cry “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”</p><p>For all of the millions of years, the longest three days Castiel lived were those when Jesus was dead, in Hell, outside of Cas’s sight. But then, he was given his next task. To fetch him, to raise him. He sowed him back together stitch by stitch, but he was told to do more, to bring him in more than a human body, to sow a new kind of grace into him. He wasn’t an angel nor a nephilim, he wasn’t just half human or half heavenly being, somehow he was fully both. A completely unique creature. And Cas loved him.</p><p>He brought him back to Earth for his unfinished business there, given a time limit of 40 days. Cas was hesitant to leave his side, but Jesus, now able to behold him completely, now talking with him and walking with him, Cas no longer just a protector but an equal, Jesus told him to wait by the tomb in case anyone came looking for him. “Don’t be afraid to give them a little show,” he said, winking. “A little glory goes a long way with them.”</p><p>And when those 40 days were up, when he bid his followers goodbye on that mountain, Cas helped him ascend into heaven, helped give them a show. And from then on, they were a team.</p><p>God still only spoke directly to Jesus. He still showed him a kind of favor that he didn’t give to any of the other angels. But Jesus said that he wanted to do his work with Castiel, and for a while, God granted him that.</p><p>It was the two of them against the world, the envy of heaven. Castiel asked him about God, and Jesus answered. He explained how compared to God, humanity was but a shadow. “But don’t you love humanity? Didn’t you die for them? Didn’t you instruct them to love each other?” But Jesus explained that the only reason he cared about humanity at all was because he cared about God first. Without God, humanity was worthless, he said. He would give up all of human history for one moment with God, but God was good so he wanted humanity to continue, and therefore he did too. Because he wanted nothing more than to resemble God.</p><p>Castiel still couldn’t fathom God, still had only vague images and ideas of devoutness, but he decided if God was like Jesus, then he loved him.</p><p>But things fell apart, as they always did with Castiel. Although he saw complete loyalty to Jesus as an extension of loyalty to God, God didn’t see it that way. And he was a jealous God, jealous of Jesus and his affections, so he made Jesus an offer. A heavenly throne, the highest of all honors, a seat at God’s right hand, but he could never be at Castiel’s side again.</p><p>At first, Castiel rebelled. He begged Jesus to stay, to run away with him, because the thought of not being able to worship at his feet drove him mad. The previous millions of years of serving a faceless God seemed unbearable now that he had lived differently. But Jesus reminded him what it was always about. “We both love God, remember Castiel? We both serve Him alone. I only love you because I love Him, and you only love me because you love Him.” Cas wasn’t sure he believed that, but he could never say no to Jesus.</p><p>He was depressed when he went back to being a regular solider, went back to his previous command and marching orders. In battle, the other angels sometimes heard him pray to the wrong name. So they reset him, like they did before and would do again. He never quite forgot Jesus, he was too important to history for the memories to be erased, but it at least dulled the ache, the emotion of it. Still, when he needed that push, when he needed a reason to follow orders, he thought of Jesus, and served him as God.</p><p>“That’s great Cas, but did you fuck?”</p><p>It was the first thing Dean said. Cas hadn’t looked at Dean through most of the story. His eyes had remained fixed on an empty space beyond him.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Did you fuck? Yeah, yeah, okay you watched Jesus through his whole life and fought by his side and prayed to him every night, but did you fuck? Did you fuck Jesus Christ?”</p><p>“I mean…” Cas does not meet his eye.</p><p>“Fuck, Cas! You said that night that you were a virgin!”</p><p>“You asked me if I had ever been with a woman or an angel,” Cas deadpans. “And Jesus was not a woman, nor technically an angel.”</p><p>Dean rolls his hand over his face. “My boyfriend fucked Jesus Christ.”</p><p>“He taught me how to love God, but he did also teach me…the desires of the flesh. The two become one. In a way, it was just another act of divine worship, but it was also raw, passionate, animalistic really—”</p><p>“Fuck, Cas, you don’t need to give me the details! Any other exes I should know about that are gonna come strolling through those doors? Moses? Buddha? The goddamn Pope?”</p><p>“Dean, it’s not like you don’t have a past.”</p><p>Dean lets out a harsh laugh. “Yeah, but not, not—” he splutters, “not Jesus fucking Christ!”</p><p>“And it’s not as if you’re particularly religious,” Cas says, pushing himself up from the table. He takes their two bottles with him, like he needs to throw them in the trash instead of just poofing them away. “I don’t know why this is bothering you so much.”</p><p>Dean forces himself to take a deep breath, letting that calming heavenly air fill him up. He exhales. “It’s just a lot to take in,” he says gruffly.</p><p>“Well, you don’t need to come to dinner with us if it’s too much for you,” Cas says.</p><p>“Like Hell, of course I’m going.”</p><p>Cas walks over to him, placing his hands around the back of Dean’s chair, and leans his face down, grinning. “It’s kind of fun seeing you jealous like this.”</p><p>“Well, he said Judas will be there, so I doubt you two will be able to pull anything.” Cas’s smile drops. “Now look who’s jealous,” Dean says, pulling him into a kiss.</p>
<hr/><p>Of course, you can’t really be <em>miserable</em> in heaven. Every bad emotion seems a little less sharp. But as Cas explained to him the one time his dad had walked into Harvelle’s (had tried to <em>talk</em> <em>to him</em>, casually, like there was nothing Dean could ever be mad at him for, like Dean was the same confused kid and not an enlightened soul who finally had an ounce of self-awareness and self-respect) Cas had explained that Jack couldn’t take all the bad emotions away <em>completely</em> because that would require officially stripping away their humanity. Luckily, Dean and Sam and Bobby made it very clear to John that if for any reason someone <em>wanted</em> to talk to him, they knew where to find him, and Dean hadn’t seen him since.</p><p>But now, getting ready to see Cas’s ex-boyfriend, hell, <em>his</em> <em>ex-God</em>, Dean is filled with the heavenly flavor of dread. He's determined to look as butch as possible. Because Cas fell in love with a goddamn Winchester and no pretty-boy Jesus was going to out-do him. He had let his stubble grow out the last few days, which Cas had commented on affectionately, and he wished up a new pair of his signature Carolina 8'' Loggers, instead of the more casual wool running shoes he had recently started wearing in heaven. While Cas showers, he spends maybe a little too long figuring out the exact length to roll up the sleeves of his flannel. And when Cas comes out of the bathroom, his wet hair riled up around him, he feels a little more at ease. This is their home. Cas is his. Jesus doesn't stand a chance.</p><p>But of course it wasn’t that easy. <em>Nothing for me ever is</em>, he finds himself thinking as Jesus opens the door, a man wearing a black t-shirt and glitter eyeliner prickling next to him. Although Dean does have to concede that being jealous of your boyfriend’s ex was more of a general humanity problem than a Winchester-apocalypse problem. Just with a fun little Biblical twist.</p><p>Jesus and Judas’s house is much nicer than theirs. How fucking pretentious to have a marble staircase in Heaven. Dean was almost expecting some comically long dining room table, with them shouting at each other from opposite ends, but once they're seated at the regular-sized oak table, he realizes he would have preferred some more distance between Jesus and Cas.</p><p>Dinner is fancy, a filleted King Salmon in the middle of the table.</p><p>“Jesus spent <em>all </em>day in the kitchen cooking,” Judas says, his voice almost slurring. Not that he’d particularly tried, but Dean hadn’t gotten truly drunk off of any of the alcohol in heaven. Maybe Jesus had a stache of the good stuff. Or maybe Judas was just like this. “Didn’t you honey,” he says, grabbing at Jesus’s arm as he takes a seat next to him.</p><p>“Only the best for our visitors,” Jesus says, giving Cas a nod. “Do you say grace, Castiel, or is that tacky?”</p><p>Cas smiles. “I usually just thank Jack in person.” His eyes are lingering on Jesus.</p><p>Dean huffs, and starts cutting into the fish. “So did you catch this, Judas? Weren’t you all fishermen or whatever?”</p><p>Judas makes a whole show of rolling his eyes. “That was more of Peter and John’s thing.”</p><p>“I can’t for the life of me get this one back on a boat,” Jesus says. “You’d think <em>he</em> was the one I almost let drown.”</p><p>Dean eats his food quickly for something to do besides glaring at Cas and Jesus, carrying most of the conversation, laughing at inside jokes, occasionally slipping into Enochian when things lacked a direct translation. With his plate cleared, his eyes drift to Judas who he realizes looks as indignant as he feels.</p><p>“Judas, darling, why don’t you show Dean the den while Cas and I clean up? It’s quite nice Dean, a pool table and everything.”</p><p>Dean found himself turning to Cas, a silent conversation exchanged between them, Cas’s eyes pleading slightly for just a minute alone. Dean scowls but he knows that he trusts Cas, so he follows a sulking Judas into the basement. The problem is he just never had a reason to trust Jesus.</p>
<hr/><p>Dean watches as Judas leans over the pool table, arching his ass out like some sleezy barfly. He nearly misses the white ball and curses under his breath.</p><p>“So. You and Jesus, who woulda thought?” Dean says.</p><p>Judas unbends slowly and doesn’t turn around. “You can’t believe everything John says, you know. Disciple who Jesus loved, my ass. More like the suck-up who Jesus fucking tolerated.”</p><p>Dean circles the table a little, looking for a good shot. “I mean I didn’t study the book much myself, just heard the basics.” He sinks the green ball in easy. “So the whole 30 pieces of silver thing wasn’t true?”</p><p>Judas pushes Dean out of the way with his hips and lines up his cue again. “It was never about the money.” He pulls the cue back, shoots forward, and misses the white ball completely. He readjusts and tries again, this time hitting the white ball but missing everything else. He pulls himself up and rests his chin on the upright cue. “Jesus and I got in a fight. A series of fights really. Because he cared about his little chats with God more than he cared about me, or anyone really. So one night, I made a deal with the devil. Consented to be his vessel.”</p><p>“That always turn out well.”</p><p>Judas picks up a ball and drops it directly in one of the holes. “Clearly.” He sit on the edge of the table and starts flinging the balls nearest to him around the table, the rolling and clattering filling the room. “But John at least got that part right.” He raises the back of his hand to his forehead and speaks with fake gravitas. “Filled with horror at my actions while possessed, I went and hanged myself.” He scoffs. “Jesus could have at least told me that he had a return ticket.”</p><p>“Well, looks like you two worked it out somehow,” Dean says, regretting starting this conversation.</p><p>“Please, don’t act like you’re better than us. You and Castiel did plenty of heart-shattering betrayals.” He points to a large bookshelf behind him. Dean curses as he recognizes the spines of Chuck’s damned paperback. “I’ve read <em>all</em> your stories,” he drawls.</p><p>“So are you any better at air hockey than you are at pool?” Dean asks through slightly gritted teeth, desperate for a change of subject. But now Judas is in his space. He takes a step back, brushing into the pool table.</p><p>“It’s kind of funny, really,” Judas says, reaching both hands to the pool table around Dean, pushing into him, his face now inches away. “They were like God to each other. And now they’re upstairs, alone, remembering all of the glory and majesty that us lowly humans can never be privy to, even in heaven.”</p><p>The image of Jesus cupping Cas’s face in his hand while Cas’s eyes shown crosses Dean’s mind like a white flash of anger right as Judas surges for his lips. Judas doesn’t wait for a response, pushing Dean further into the pool table, straddling his leg in between his, kissing him furiously. Dean starts to kiss back, feeling his own jealousy in the heat of Judas’s mouth as Judas starts to grind into him.</p><p>Then he snaps out of it and shoves Judas off him. Judas lands on the ground, but he thinks that might be more from his personal theatrics than from Dean’s force. “No,” Dean says firmly, wiping the spit off his lips. “I don’t care how much marriage counseling you and Jesus need, you are not pulling us into this.”</p><p>Judas stands, brushing the dust off his pants. “That anger and recklessness from Hell really sticks to you, you know? Haven't been out long myself,” he says cooly. He claps a hand on Dean’s back, sticking his face by his ear for just a moment. “So forgive me.” He sits down in a leather chair, picking up a book and flipping through it absently while Dean focuses on slow, calm breaths.</p><p>Cas and Jesus come down shortly after that. Cas has a content glow about him, and Judas goes back to hanging off Jesus, shooting occasional glances at Dean that he avoids. Jesus shows Cas around their den, but Cas can tell that Dean seems restless, so he turns him down when Jesus offers to make them cocktails. As they grab their coats at the door, Jesus puts two fingers to Dean’s arm. “You mind if we have a quick word?”</p><p>Dean shoots a glance at Cas, who’s awkwardly laughing at something Judas is going on about, and finds himself following Jesus out of the foyer to the kitchen, unsure of what’s about to happen. Luckily, Jesus doesn’t make him wait.</p><p>“I’m not trying to steal Castiel from you,” Jesus states.</p><p>“Might want to tell Judas that,” Dean scoffs.</p><p>“Trust me, I remind him plenty.”</p><p>Dean forces himself to look at Jesus, and realizes he has a sad look in his eyes.</p><p>“He knows, even if he has trouble believing it all the time.” Jesus continues. “But we’re still working through our prospective betrayals, that have only been allowed to simmer for 2,000 years.” Now that they’ve made eye contact, Dean is finding it hard to look away. Something about Jesus’s eyes hold him in, keep him steady. “He really is the love of my life. What Cas and I were was different…a huge mess, really. He had almost no interactions with humanity and was just following my lead for what a relationship should look like, all while I was trying to run away from every human aspect of myself. Our relationship had too much glory and not enough heart, at least on my end. But Judas…Judas always reminded me of everything good and bad about humanity all at once. Which is why I pushed him away once, and why I can’t keep myself away now.”</p><p>“Well, I guess I’m happy for you two,” Dean says, and he means it.</p><p>“Now, maybe next time we have you over for dinner you won’t have to be so tense,” Jesus says, his face relaxing into a gentle smile.</p><p>So Dean wouldn’t be getting out of Jesus and Judas being their new couple friends, but he has a feeling they could probably make it work. “We really should save Cas from Judas,” he says, clapping his hands together.</p><p>Jesus lets out a short laugh, but doesn’t move, giving Dean a long look up and down. “This is just an offer, of course, and while I’m sure Castiel gets the job done,” Jesus smiles wickedly, “if you’d ever like to be with a <em>real </em>top, Judas and I are always down for a group thing.”</p><p>Dean opens his mouth in protest when Jesus raises a finger to his lips, shushing him gently. “Before you say never, remember that eternity is a long time.” He gives Dean a wink and walks back toward the front door. As Dean follows Jesus, he can’t help but check out his ass.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Almost got into a whole thing where Judas and Jesus were working with Jack to reform Hell but idk it was already longer than I meant it to be and I have a job and maybe I shouldn't work out ALL my religious issues in Supernatural fanfiction.</p><p>Follow me on <a href="https://clarafordahwin.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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